Alice Randall - The Wind Done Gone by Wind Done Gone The

Alice Randall - The Wind Done Gone by Wind Done Gone The

Author:Wind Done Gone The [The, Wind Done Gone]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00


stone drunk, ploughed into her stone-dry and laudanum drugged body. She had felt no pleasure, had given no pleasure, felt no pain, gave no pain, as he flopped about, planting his seed in her soil. These were the days when she began to wonder if there might could be something more to these engagements. She was beginning to forget her girlhood.

At the same time Other was becoming uncomfortable with Mammy, she began to fall deeply in love with her mother, my Lady. I wanted to dash her brains out with a big rock. Other and Lady and Me. As they discovered each other, I discovered the higher temperatures of jealousy. The fever comes in different degrees. Other’s love for Lady’s tidy, tiny, sweet-smelling self, her slight but supple arms, the white, heaven-pillow bosom that lay corseted beneath Lady’s modest gowns, brought sweat to my brow. It was a comfort to know, it remains a comfort to know, that Other died without ever once seeing her mother’s breasts, breasts on which I sucked.

And Planter was beginning to see me anew. There was nothing strange between him and me. I was his daughter, and that meant more to him than it did to most men of his time and station when the daughter was brown. But the way he looked at me, Mammy didn’t know if she was nervous or jealous. And not for the first time Lady felt the exact same thing.

Back then, I was hating Other so hard for breaking the ribbons binding Lady to me that I noticed all of this, but I didn’t weave it into the fabric of my understanding of my life. Yet circumstance has left me rich in time to think about those days. Not working is a severe affliction. If I had been turned out to field work, perhaps I would never have whipped up so hard on my own mind. But everything changed when Other fell out of love with Mammy and in love with Lady. Everything changed when Lady fell out of love with me. Everything changed when Planter noticed that I was some kind of cross between his wife and his woman. Everything changed, and they sent me away.

I could see in Other’s face the first moment it came to her the possibility that Mammy did for her not because she wanted to, but because she had to. Maybe Mammy loved her and maybe Mammy didn’t. Slavery made it impossible for Other to know. “She who ain’t free not to love, ain’t free to love.” Some folks are easy with that and some folks are not. Mainly the folks who think they wouldn’t be loved are easy with it.

What Lady did for me, she did freely. And what she did for Other was done that way too. So I for sure got something. I can’t decide if I’m grateful that R. will finally never have to choose between us, between me and Other. Sometimes when I feel neither lucky nor worthy, I’m grateful to get the win any way I get it.



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